Is there anybody out there who believes in marriage before baby carriage?
Now this is too good to pass up....
Does anyone beleive in marriage?
Well I have read some of the posts and I have to say there is quite a set of diverse opinions.
When my mom was growing up, it was the woman's JOB to get married, raise the kids, and take care of the house. Pretty much the same as when I was growing up. BUT when I got to adulthood, all that changed. Suddenly I was supposed to work AND all that other stuff too. I was SUPPOSED to be part of a 2 income household. my kids were supposed to go to day care while I worked to help support the family. BUT no one told me what would happen if hubby left. hmmmmmmmmm....
Would I get married again? prbably not
Should I get married again? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
NYS does not recognize common law marriages - therefore, if I am with someone for a long time and he dies, I GET NOTHING - unless it is willed to me. Even then, with exwives and grown children, I would have a fight on my hands.
However, if I chose to get involved with anyone, they would have to be PREFECT. I have seen the overgrown 40-something (children) men who want someone to take care of them. My answer to that? I raised 2 children, I am in no mood to raise one that is already grown.
Marriage - ok every little girl grows up wantingher day to be perfect. But I can;t see spending thousands of dollars on 1 day - ridiculous!
God/the church - am I going to hell because my husband left me? I think I'm there or at least was while hubby was in my life. And btw - why am I the only one going? If i'm going so is he! If my child was born out of wedlock are they going to hell? Yeah,right. So my kid is going to hell because they were born. I was born and raised catholic and what I can't stand are these self-righteous bastards telling me my kid is going to hell while they are molesting other kids - I don't think so.
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
Furthermore - the bible. I know most people have seen the 10 commandments ( movie) ok, so moses goes up on a mountain and God give him stone tablets with rules to live by. Other than Hollywood magic - where do you think those tablets came from? Just magically appeared, huh? GOD did NOT write the bible - MEN did. And like most men, they took literary license with the stories. People cannot remember the 10 commandments ( much less obey them) does anyone honestly think that this magic book appeared on the history of mankind and all the incredible things that happened throughout history? And what about the difference between the old and new testament? Was God having a bad day in the old testament? or was God a woman and just got over PMS in the NEW testament?
Seriously though. I am not here to mock anyone's religion - just point out the inconsistancies in the religion which I was raised and no longer practice.
As for marriage -IMHO - don't do it unless: you are mature enough to handle an adult relationship. If you are still playing around, then keep playing, but don't expect someone to want you after you spread yourself around like jelly on a PB&J.
If you plan on having an adult relationship, then get married, simply because without that little piece of paper, you are entitled to nothing if your significant other walks out the door. Kids are not going to stop them. It doesn't have to be anything more than a meeting of the minds at city hall, but make it legal - that is, if you can handle it.
One last thing - keep the inlaws outside of the relationship. This has nothing to do with them.
I see that lack of marriage is the trend. My ex boyfriend got into a relationship with a woman 30 years younger than him. 3 months into the relationship, this girl is now pregnant. It saddened me greatly as I still love my ex even though we are no longer together. This man has had several children ranging from age 7 - 24. And now this. He does very little for his children and thinks it is a big joke to have children he doesn't help care for. as if it is his duty to just spread his seed and let the woman do all of the child rearing. I feel as if he has destroyed this girl's life by not doing the right thing. It takes time to get to know the person you have chosen and BOOM! 2 1/2 months into it, she is knocked up! He's 51, she's 21! As for myself, I stay away from men as most of them are jerks. Women are the Godlly gender, not the men. We are definitely superior so therefore God has more feminine traits than masculine. We are humans with spirits who are more in touch with ours.
Hello, I have a comment on your subject, my name is Meka, PERSONALLY- I THINK marriage is MORE SERIOUS to me than kids. NOT BECAUSE, I had 6 of them before I got married. BUT BECAUSE, MY RELATIONSHIPS weren't right. I MEAN this is a man that I am STUCK with for the rest of my LIFE. I want things to be more than half good. Where as KIDS those are yours reguardless. You can be MARRIED, turn around 10 years later get a DIVORCE and your STILL STUCK with them. My "NANA" always told me "whether the father is there or NOT your gonna always have to take care of those children" WHICH to me is TRUE because even though I married my last 2kids father. IT STILL FEELS like I"M doing it by myself SOMETIMES. Because their only gonna do but so much. I take MARRIAGE SERIOUSLY, I watched my mom go through 3 marriages her sister,3 and her brother 2. There is NOMORE colors to wear to a wedding! except BLACK! IF they had a DRIVE-THRU I would recommend it. BUT, I TOLD my husband BEFORE I married him, ONCE you take this VOWEL, I"M taking YOUR LAST NAME to the GRAVE with me. EVEN, AFTER the DIVORCE.
Hello, my name is Meka, Personally- I think they do just because "They Can" or because thats their way of STARRING UP KAOS" between 2 women to see who WANTS him the MOST. BASICALLY, They GET OFF on it. It BOOST their EGO. I DON"T give them the satisfactory! I'm the one to TEACH you a lesson. NOT, to actually go out and fool around. BUT, "what they DON"T know CAN"T hurt them" He doesn't need to no that. I feel IF you are INDEPENDENT what the HELL do you need him for? YOU CAN PRACTICE SAFESEX with ANYONE! HELL, They MIGHT BE BETTER than him ANYWAY!(smile)
The thrill of the hunt. The excitement of having some 'strange'. They want their cake & be able to eat it too.
Don't try to figure it out. It's the nature of the beast. One thinks with the wrong 'head'. Or should I say they don't think at all, but are more driven by hormones.
George Bush is doing exactly what the Illuminati want for him to do and that is to destroy this country so that New World Order can take place. He doen't care what happens in this country. The price of oil...well George Bush and Dick Cheney are oil men. They are making sure that their wallets are nice and fat before they leave office. The whole Bush family have extremely strong ties with the Saudis. The U.N. are behind the Illuminati as well as the World Bank. This is why Al Gore didn't win the election. The Society paid off Katherine Harris to lose all of those votes in my state(Florida) so that George Bush could win. It was all planned out even though we know the truth that Al Gore did actually win!
I disagree with you on Gloria Steinem. It is the government who destroyed the family. The middle class pays most of the taxes and as a result, the middle class parents must work too many hours to stay afloat. It takes two paychecks to live these days. The parents are always at work, the kids of today are undisciplined and want everything handed to them. Today, the kids are fat, lazy, and unmotivated. Why? Because the parents are at work! That's why! So Uncle Sam destroyed the family unit. The tax cuts are given to the wealthiest people in this country.
We have an obligation to be concerned about our fellow man/woman.
My concern is for our posterity & the younger generation.
I have done counseling sessions with young adolescents & teens. You would be suprise to know that I have had '11-year olds to tell me that they are planning to have a baby'. They want one because another student in their school had one or because they want to feel love. When I asked them how they were planning to care for it, everyone had the same reply: "my mom". The parents had NO idea.
I was just trying to find out if it something that we older generation are doing that is causing this & if there is something that we can do to help this epidemic.
If the person is young, like a child or teen and do not have a job or even education, then its going to make it hard on them to raise that child.
Thank you for replying to my post. I wanted to get others opinions & beliefs to see if there anything we can do to help.
God bless you,
I totally agree with you.
I, too, have been divorced in the past. I am now happily married to my second husband.
Any break-up is hard, of course. It just seems to me there is an epidemic going on here where people don't believe in committment. I thought it was just me who was noticing it.
I definitely believe in marriage before anyone has a baby . Children need a solid mom and dad that are committed and believe in responsibility. Yes , you can live together for a lifetime and be committed , but without the bond of marriage it is even easier to give up when the going gets rough.
Making a statement by getting married means that you are responsible for your actions , and hopefully that you will commit to not giving up . Marriage can be wonderful with two people who WORK for a good relationship .
When a child has the stability of two people who WORK on living and loving together ( I believe that love is more of an action than a feeling) , that child has a solid ground to build on to become an adult themselves.
(Saying all this , I know that my ex and I did not make it . There are many personal reasons for this .I went to divorce counseling for 6 months before I made any decisions. Then I had to know as a faith based person that I had solid reasons for leaving my husband . When I was sure that I wasn't making a rash decision , it was only then that I proceeded.)
I know is that if you are going to get married , it is best to
1. Have all debts paid for before you get married.Money is a huge point of conflict.
2. Know each other enough that you can fight and resolve conflicts without going ballistic on each other. Don't think you have to win all the time .GROW UP BEFORE YOU ARE MARRIED , NOT AFTERWARD.
3. Go to counseling BEFORE you get married to learn how to work out living with another person.Be committed and decide before you get married that you will work through all conflicts in a FAIR way and stick with it.
4. Be with kids and offer to babysit for friends if you have not been around children.
In addition to all the above points , my own base of my personal spiritual walk is that marriage is not to be taken lightly . It is a bond that will hold better if belief in God is a glue that holds two people together in some of the hardest times.
I guess my views are not what many people want to hear in our country . However , the lack of commitment and responsibility in our country has greatly added to its moral downfall.
Posted in Anonymous40784 15 hours ago
And, is there anybody out there who believes in marriage before baby carriage?