Is there anybody out there who believes in marriage before baby carriage?
I have been married for 15 years. Our first child was born 3 1/2 years after we got married.
I love being married. My spouse is not perfect, but he is faithful. I am far from perfect, but I am faithful. He honored my religious beliefs for chastity before marriage.
I am Episcopalian, and part of the wedding service says "make their lives together a symbol of Christ's love in a sinful and fallen world"
Now this is too good to pass up....
Does anyone beleive in marriage?
Well I have read some of the posts and I have to say there is quite a set of diverse opinions.
When my mom was growing up, it was the woman's JOB to get married, raise the kids, and take care of the house. Pretty much the same as when I was growing up. BUT when I got to adulthood, all that changed. Suddenly I was supposed to work AND all that other stuff too. I was SUPPOSED to be part of a 2 income household. my kids were supposed to go to day care while I worked to help support the family. BUT no one told me what would happen if hubby left. hmmmmmmmmm....
Would I get married again? prbably not
Should I get married again? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
NYS does not recognize common law marriages - therefore, if I am with someone for a long time and he dies, I GET NOTHING - unless it is willed to me. Even then, with exwives and grown children, I would have a fight on my hands.
However, if I chose to get involved with anyone, they would have to be PREFECT. I have seen the overgrown 40-something (children) men who want someone to take care of them. My answer to that? I raised 2 children, I am in no mood to raise one that is already grown.
Marriage - ok every little girl grows up wantingher day to be perfect. But I can;t see spending thousands of dollars on 1 day - ridiculous!
God/the church - am I going to hell because my husband left me? I think I'm there or at least was while hubby was in my life. And btw - why am I the only one going? If i'm going so is he! If my child was born out of wedlock are they going to hell? Yeah,right. So my kid is going to hell because they were born. I was born and raised catholic and what I can't stand are these self-righteous bastards telling me my kid is going to hell while they are molesting other kids - I don't think so.
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
Furthermore - the bible. I know most people have seen the 10 commandments ( movie) ok, so moses goes up on a mountain and God give him stone tablets with rules to live by. Other than Hollywood magic - where do you think those tablets came from? Just magically appeared, huh? GOD did NOT write the bible - MEN did. And like most men, they took literary license with the stories. People cannot remember the 10 commandments ( much less obey them) does anyone honestly think that this magic book appeared on the history of mankind and all the incredible things that happened throughout history? And what about the difference between the old and new testament? Was God having a bad day in the old testament? or was God a woman and just got over PMS in the NEW testament?
Seriously though. I am not here to mock anyone's religion - just point out the inconsistancies in the religion which I was raised and no longer practice.
As for marriage -IMHO - don't do it unless: you are mature enough to handle an adult relationship. If you are still playing around, then keep playing, but don't expect someone to want you after you spread yourself around like jelly on a PB&J.
If you plan on having an adult relationship, then get married, simply because without that little piece of paper, you are entitled to nothing if your significant other walks out the door. Kids are not going to stop them. It doesn't have to be anything more than a meeting of the minds at city hall, but make it legal - that is, if you can handle it.
One last thing - keep the inlaws outside of the relationship. This has nothing to do with them.
I see that lack of marriage is the trend. My ex boyfriend got into a relationship with a woman 30 years younger than him. 3 months into the relationship, this girl is now pregnant. It saddened me greatly as I still love my ex even though we are no longer together. This man has had several children ranging from age 7 - 24. And now this. He does very little for his children and thinks it is a big joke to have children he doesn't help care for. as if it is his duty to just spread his seed and let the woman do all of the child rearing. I feel as if he has destroyed this girl's life by not doing the right thing. It takes time to get to know the person you have chosen and BOOM! 2 1/2 months into it, she is knocked up! He's 51, she's 21! As for myself, I stay away from men as most of them are jerks. Women are the Godlly gender, not the men. We are definitely superior so therefore God has more feminine traits than masculine. We are humans with spirits who are more in touch with ours.
Hello, I have a comment on your subject, my name is Meka, PERSONALLY- I THINK marriage is MORE SERIOUS to me than kids. NOT BECAUSE, I had 6 of them before I got married. BUT BECAUSE, MY RELATIONSHIPS weren't right. I MEAN this is a man that I am STUCK with for the rest of my LIFE. I want things to be more than half good. Where as KIDS those are yours reguardless. You can be MARRIED, turn around 10 years later get a DIVORCE and your STILL STUCK with them. My "NANA" always told me "whether the father is there or NOT your gonna always have to take care of those children" WHICH to me is TRUE because even though I married my last 2kids father. IT STILL FEELS like I"M doing it by myself SOMETIMES. Because their only gonna do but so much. I take MARRIAGE SERIOUSLY, I watched my mom go through 3 marriages her sister,3 and her brother 2. There is NOMORE colors to wear to a wedding! except BLACK! IF they had a DRIVE-THRU I would recommend it. BUT, I TOLD my husband BEFORE I married him, ONCE you take this VOWEL, I"M taking YOUR LAST NAME to the GRAVE with me. EVEN, AFTER the DIVORCE.
Hello, my name is Meka, Personally- I think they do just because "They Can" or because thats their way of STARRING UP KAOS" between 2 women to see who WANTS him the MOST. BASICALLY, They GET OFF on it. It BOOST their EGO. I DON"T give them the satisfactory! I'm the one to TEACH you a lesson. NOT, to actually go out and fool around. BUT, "what they DON"T know CAN"T hurt them" He doesn't need to no that. I feel IF you are INDEPENDENT what the HELL do you need him for? YOU CAN PRACTICE SAFESEX with ANYONE! HELL, They MIGHT BE BETTER than him ANYWAY!(smile)
The thrill of the hunt. The excitement of having some 'strange'. They want their cake & be able to eat it too.
Don't try to figure it out. It's the nature of the beast. One thinks with the wrong 'head'. Or should I say they don't think at all, but are more driven by hormones.
George Bush is doing exactly what the Illuminati want for him to do and that is to destroy this country so that New World Order can take place. He doen't care what happens in this country. The price of oil...well George Bush and Dick Cheney are oil men. They are making sure that their wallets are nice and fat before they leave office. The whole Bush family have extremely strong ties with the Saudis. The U.N. are behind the Illuminati as well as the World Bank. This is why Al Gore didn't win the election. The Society paid off Katherine Harris to lose all of those votes in my state(Florida) so that George Bush could win. It was all planned out even though we know the truth that Al Gore did actually win!
I disagree with you on Gloria Steinem. It is the government who destroyed the family. The middle class pays most of the taxes and as a result, the middle class parents must work too many hours to stay afloat. It takes two paychecks to live these days. The parents are always at work, the kids of today are undisciplined and want everything handed to them. Today, the kids are fat, lazy, and unmotivated. Why? Because the parents are at work! That's why! So Uncle Sam destroyed the family unit. The tax cuts are given to the wealthiest people in this country.
We have an obligation to be concerned about our fellow man/woman.
My concern is for our posterity & the younger generation.
I have done counseling sessions with young adolescents & teens. You would be suprise to know that I have had '11-year olds to tell me that they are planning to have a baby'. They want one because another student in their school had one or because they want to feel love. When I asked them how they were planning to care for it, everyone had the same reply: "my mom". The parents had NO idea.
I was just trying to find out if it something that we older generation are doing that is causing this & if there is something that we can do to help this epidemic.
If the person is young, like a child or teen and do not have a job or even education, then its going to make it hard on them to raise that child.
Thank you for replying to my post. I wanted to get others opinions & beliefs to see if there anything we can do to help.
God bless you,